1. 14 Apr



    Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry; don’t walk barehead in the hot sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil; soak your little cloths right after you take them off; when buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn’t have gum on it, because that way it won’t hold up well after a wash; soak salt fish overnight before you cook it; is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?; always eat your food in such a way that it won’t turn someone else’s stomach; on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming; don’t sing benna in Sunday school; you mustn’t speak to wharf-rat boys, not even to give directions; don’t eat fruits on the street – flies will follow you; but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school; this is how to sew on a button; this is how to make a button-hole for the button you have just sewed on; this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you iron your father’s khaki shirt so that it doesn’t have a crease; this is how you iron your father’s khaki pants so that they don’t have a crease; this is how you grow okra – far from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants; when you are growing dasheen, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat itch when you are eating it; this is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole house; this is how you sweep a yard; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely; this is how you set a table for tea; this is how you set a table for dinner; this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest; this is how you set a table for lunch; this is how you set a table for breakfast; this is how to behave in the presence of men who don’t know you very well, and this way they won’t recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own spit; don’t squat down to play marbles – you are not a boy, you know; don’t pick people’s flowers – you might catch something; don’t throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not be a blackbird at all; this is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child; this is how to catch a fish; this is how to throw back a fish you don’t like, and that way something bad won’t fall on you; this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man; and if this doesn’t work there are other ways, and if they don’t work don’t feel too bad about giving up; this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move quick so that it doesn’t fall on you; this is how to make ends meet; always squeeze bread to make sure it’s fresh; but what if the baker won’t let me feel the bread?; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread?
    — Girl by Jamaica Kincaid
     

  2. 14 Mar


    I am so sick of this shit. This. This is just not amusing. This is not ‘100% true’. This is not acceptable.  We will never achieve true equality while it is considered jolly good fun to refer to women as ‘highly ornamental, especially in sports cars’. Women are people; people are not ornaments. When you say that a woman’s use is that of being an ornament, you are trying to say that she is not a living, breathing human being. You are reducing her to her physical worth.  We will never achieve true equality while it is considered OK to say that a women is a ‘very effective cleaning agent’. As long as we allow these tired old clichés, as long as we keep using them over and over and laughing every time, then we are allowing society to see women merely as things that cook, clean and fuck. Items that are there for the men who choose to ‘use’ and ‘own’ them.  We will never achieve true equality while it is considered hilarious to talk about ‘possession’ of women as though this is normal. When you look at a woman, when you catcall a woman, when you talk to a woman, when you touch a woman, when you sleep with a woman and date a woman and marry a woman and have children with a woman, you do not possess her. No matter what you do to or with her, none of this makes her your possession. You’re sleeping with multiple women? OK, but you do not own any of them. You have not robbed her of her autonomy, even if you have tried.  We will never achieve true equality when an offensive, damaging and sickening infographic like this is reposted and condoned by men and women alike. When it can get over 6000 likes on Facebook and is shared 1000+ times. So, do you still think this is funny?

    I am so sick of this shit.

    This. This is just not amusing. This is not ‘100% true’. This is not acceptable. 

    We will never achieve true equality while it is considered jolly good fun to refer to women as ‘highly ornamental, especially in sports cars’. Women are people; people are not ornaments. When you say that a woman’s use is that of being an ornament, you are trying to say that she is not a living, breathing human being. You are reducing her to her physical worth. 

    We will never achieve true equality while it is considered OK to say that a women is a ‘very effective cleaning agent’. As long as we allow these tired old clichés, as long as we keep using them over and over and laughing every time, then we are allowing society to see women merely as things that cook, clean and fuck. Items that are there for the men who choose to ‘use’ and ‘own’ them. 

    We will never achieve true equality while it is considered hilarious to talk about ‘possession’ of women as though this is normal. When you look at a woman, when you catcall a woman, when you talk to a woman, when you touch a woman, when you sleep with a woman and date a woman and marry a woman and have children with a woman, you do not possess her. No matter what you do to or with her, none of this makes her your possession. You’re sleeping with multiple women? OK, but you do not own any of them. You have not robbed her of her autonomy, even if you have tried. 

    We will never achieve true equality when an offensive, damaging and sickening infographic like this is reposted and condoned by men and women alike. When it can get over 6000 likes on Facebook and is shared 1000+ times.

    So, do you still think this is funny?

     

  3. 2 Feb



    Dear Unilad

    (If you missed the uproar, have a flick through it all here. Trigger warning.)

    Rape is not funny. Rape is never funny. There is no such thing as ‘rape banter’.

    If you have to make ‘jokes’ about rape in order to be funny, then let’s face it: you’re just not funny.

    Next time you try to be the funny man and say things like this, please remember that you do not exist in a vacuum. Everything you say makes a difference, be it a miniscule difference, or something that will change the world. When you write something like “If the girl you’ve taken for a drink […] won’t ‘spread for your head’, think about this mathematical statistic: 85% of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds” on the internet, people read that. It doesn’t just cause a few giggles and then disappear in a puff of smoke. Somebody read it. Maybe somebody took it to heart.

    When you say things like that, or post them on the internet, what you are doing is contributing to a culture in which women get raped and assaulted by men who think it’s funny, who think that the women deserve it. It means that vulnerable women get preyed on. It means that someone, somewhere is going to think it’s perfectly acceptable to rape a woman because, you know, there’s an 85% chance she won’t report it. Good odds, right?

    When you say things like that, it means that one day, a woman you love and care about might be raped or assaulted. It means that if this happens, people will question whether or not she deserved it, whether she was drunk, whether she was promiscuous or flirty, dressed provocatively. People won’t believe her. The man who did it might brag to his friends about it. She might not report it, because the low conviction rate might make her think that it’s not worth her time, that she doesn’t want to put herself through that. It means that if this happens, you will have to face up to the fact that you have contributed to a culture where rape is not taken seriously. Where it is trivialised. Where people think that ‘rape banter’ is a thing, and find it hilarious to say ‘it’s not rape if you shout surprise’. Let’s hope that never happens to anyone you love, OK?

    It’s not even just that, Unilad. It’s not as though that’s all you’ve done wrong. There’s the suggestion that having sex with a pregnant woman would constitute a threesome. Because you think that an unborn foetus counts as a sexual partner, right? I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you don’t actually think that, and that you just thought it was funny. So let’s add unborn-baby-paedophilia to the list of ‘things that aren’t funny, and aren’t acceptable to joke about’. It’s also that you seem to hate fat women. Ugly women. Women with pubic hair. Any woman who doesn’t fit into your narrow definition of what is sexually acceptable. You seem intent on letting women know that the way they are is probably not acceptable to you because it doesn’t turn you on, and letting other men know that there is only a certain type of woman that they should deem sexually attractive. You’re not doing anyone a favour.

    Your website is down, and apparently you won’t be back for another few weeks. Unless you’re returning with some more mature and less hateful content, I suggest you do us all a favour and don’t bother coming back.

    3511528

    (Source: whatemilydidnext.wordpress.com)

     

  4. 30 Dec



    #everygirlisbeautifulandspecial: nice try, Twitter, but better luck next time

    So, after witnessing atrocities like #uglygirlsarenotallowed unfold and run rampage across Twitter, you would think a TT like #everygirlisbeautifulandspecial would be music to my ears. 

    However, it appears that I am never happy, and so this irks me greatly as well. At first glance, what a lovely message. I’m so glad this a top trending topic. On the surface, it’s a really great thing for people to be putting out there. 

    But it’s not just that. And it’s not as good as it seems. This hashtag is bad in so many ways. First of all, whoever started it chose to use the word girl, instead of woman. I can’t help right now but be that person who nitpicks about semantic issues. There are so many reasons not to use the word girl when referring to all females. Girl is belittling. It’s very often sexist. It paints a picture of childlike women who need protecting, rather than being able to protect themselves. There’s a wealth of information about this topic floating around out there, but a very quick google search yielded this article, which I enjoy.

    Then there’s the issue with the message of this hashtag. ‘Every girl is beautiful and special.’ Well, I just don’t think that’s true. Because, you see, here’s the thing about girls women: they’re all special and beautiful they’re just people. In the same way that boys men are just people. Just people. Some are beautiful and special. Some are really shit. When you say that every girl is beautiful and special, think about what it is that you’re saying. Is she beautiful and special simply because she is a girl? What about Myra Hindley? Is she beautiful and special? 

    Another issue with the message is the word ‘beautiful’, and how female physical beauty is perceived and valued in our society*. What this hashtag tells me is that, a as a girl, the highest compliment I can hope to receive is to be called beautiful. What about being intelligent? What about being kind? 

    The opposite of misogyny is not coddling ‘girls’ and treating them as though they should be celebrated for the simple act of being female. It is treating women as equals. #everygirlisbeautifulandspecial is not what we need. 

    * The retort to this is always something along the lines of ‘it doesn’t mean physical beauty, it means being beautiful as a person.’ Well, I just don’t believe that.

     

  5. 11 Oct


    in-her-hips-theres-revolutions: khaleesi: jewbilant: you see this? it’s called a razor if you’re a girl, USE IT your hairy legs and armpits aren’t cute okay you’re not helping out for woman’s rights or anything YOU’RE JUST MAKING YOURSELF LOOK NASTY Or! Women have been socialized to believe that they must remove hair for a number of reasons, primarily the following: hair is historically and Biblically associated with power; we as a patriarchal culture are obsessed with keeping hair on men (facial hair, Hair Club for Men, hair plugs, whatever) and keeping it off women. You say hair on women is nasty; why is it only hair on women? Women and men have the same pubic hair. We all grow it out of our follicles for the same reason. Why is it only gross on women? women’s bodies have been considered the property of men since the dawn of time, and therefore we have been held to a standard of beauty and attractiveness that is not determined by us but is instead determined by something called the male gaze, which is erases all sexualities and genders other than cisgender heterosexual men and assumes that women are performing for it. childlike women are considered less “threatening” and more “feminine” because they are naive, quiet, and rely on ~*adult men*~ to take care of them. AND ALSO: there is a fallacy about pubic hair that it is dirty. It is not dirty. In fact, it’s there to keep your genitals cleaner. Pubic hair and armpit hair are also there to spread your pheromones around and make it easier for you to attract a mate.  all mammals have hair. We’re mammals. AND FINALLY: No one else’s body is your business. Ever. You want to shave? Go ahead! That’s totally your prerogative and if you’re more comfortable shaving, feel free. But given that pubic hair isn’t innately dirty, there’s no reason for anyone to remove it if they don’t want to. You’re not sending out some edgy, hardcore message here. You’re just reinforcing what our culture wants you to reinforce. Before you pick up that razor again, think about why you want to shave. Is it just because our culture told you to? Why’d they tell you to? What’s the point? Do what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy, and let others do the same. Everytime. WOW. What a horrible specimen this girl is. Do what you like with your own body and leave everyone else to do what they want with theirs.

    in-her-hips-theres-revolutions:

    khaleesi:

    jewbilant:

    you see this?

    it’s called a razor

    if you’re a girl, USE IT

    your hairy legs and armpits aren’t cute okay

    you’re not helping out for woman’s rights or anything

    YOU’RE JUST MAKING YOURSELF LOOK NASTY

    Or!

    Women have been socialized to believe that they must remove hair for a number of reasons, primarily the following:

    1. hair is historically and Biblically associated with power; we as a patriarchal culture are obsessed with keeping hair on men (facial hair, Hair Club for Men, hair plugs, whatever) and keeping it off women. You say hair on women is nasty; why is it only hair on women? Women and men have the same pubic hair. We all grow it out of our follicles for the same reason. Why is it only gross on women?
    2. women’s bodies have been considered the property of men since the dawn of time, and therefore we have been held to a standard of beauty and attractiveness that is not determined by us but is instead determined by something called the male gaze, which is erases all sexualities and genders other than cisgender heterosexual men and assumes that women are performing for it.
    3. childlike women are considered less “threatening” and more “feminine” because they are naive, quiet, and rely on ~*adult men*~ to take care of them.

    AND ALSO:

    1. there is a fallacy about pubic hair that it is dirty. It is not dirty. In fact, it’s there to keep your genitals cleaner. Pubic hair and armpit hair are also there to spread your pheromones around and make it easier for you to attract a mate. 
    2. all mammals have hair. We’re mammals.

    AND FINALLY:

    1. No one else’s body is your business. Ever. You want to shave? Go ahead! That’s totally your prerogative and if you’re more comfortable shaving, feel free. But given that pubic hair isn’t innately dirty, there’s no reason for anyone to remove it if they don’t want to.

    You’re not sending out some edgy, hardcore message here. You’re just reinforcing what our culture wants you to reinforce. Before you pick up that razor again, think about why you want to shave. Is it just because our culture told you to? Why’d they tell you to? What’s the point?

    Do what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy, and let others do the same.

    Everytime.

    WOW. What a horrible specimen this girl is. Do what you like with your own body and leave everyone else to do what they want with theirs.

    (via sluteverxxx)

     

  6. 9 Sep


    If you get tweeted at by @Sexismbusters, don’t take it at face value. As far as I can tell, it is Tom Martin (the former student of the LSE who is currently attempting to sue the gender studies department for being “sexist”) trying to get people to donate to his court case. The website does not have ‘all the links’ about the case. It does not have anything other than a plea for donations. If people want to donate, then they can go ahead. What I take issue with is how misleading and underhand this is.

    If you get tweeted at by @Sexismbusters, don’t take it at face value.

    As far as I can tell, it is Tom Martin (the former student of the LSE who is currently attempting to sue the gender studies department for being “sexist”) trying to get people to donate to his court case.

    The website does not have ‘all the links’ about the case. It does not have anything other than a plea for donations.

    If people want to donate, then they can go ahead. What I take issue with is how misleading and underhand this is.

     

  7. 7 Jul


    I found this here. I love it.

    I found this here. I love it.